I trusted you
by learntoreid
Summary: hello friends, First time trying this out, but after rewatching some criminal minds, i fell spencer didn't get justice at the end, so i'm going to do some one-shots about what happens after Proof, so please be gentle and enjoy. My writing isn't the best, but I hope you can understand who is talking and what not. 3 :)


"Because I _trusted _you"

These words will forever haunt me, what could I have done differently? Was I really protecting Emily by lying to everyone, Morgan, Rossi, Garcia all would have kept their mouth shut if I told them in private. They would have known why the decision was made and they deserved to know the truth. What have I done to my best friend, what have I done to Spence?

Finally, after standing outside his door I decided it's now or never to knock and get this over with. After knocking and waiting a few seconds I finally decide to speak up:

"Spence, I know you're home, your car is impossible to miss and you know this talk is inevitable, so let's just get it over with."

"Fine." He finally opens the door. And I walk in throwing my purse and keys down on the coffee table

"Say what you have to say and please leave." short and sweet, not what Spence normally has for me.

"you said 'Because I trusted you' the other day, was that completely intentional or just in the heat of the moment?"I pleaded.

"Would you like the truth or should I play the JJ and Hotch game?" He replied with such animosity I was almost left speechless.

"Truth, please." I watched him with eager eyes, I could see the wheels turning in his head, he started pacing and every ten seconds or so he would stop, look at me, open his mouth, and then begin pacing again, until finally he spoke.

"JJ, I've thought of ways to say this as nicely and calmly as possible, so if I do say anything to offend you I'm warning you now I am not trying to be rude or insulting in any way; however, we both know there is a lot of pent up negative emotion built up within me so please forgive me. Now, I will say this as concisely and intelligently as possible without yelling or crying. Firstly, it is no secret that I live a rather secluded life and have had very few close friends: Morgan, Emily, Garcia and only one best friend: you. In addition, I've had very few people I have ever let in emotionally, and to be so completely betrayed by one of the only people I have truly loved is without a doubt one of the most painful and worst experiences of my life. I've contemplated leaving the BAU and never speaking with you or Hotch again, I've contemplated injecting myself with dilauded to make the pain and thoughts go again, with sometimes this mind can be a curse. I have made many decisions that I will share with you right now. First, it would be completely unfair to Morgan, Garcia, and hell even Rossi for me to run away and cut off connections, for they love me and I love them, most importantly Henry who is the a ray of sunshine in my life, and brings complete joy to me every time he and I play together, I couldn't forgive myself if I just abandoned him, or left myself without him in my life. Secondly, I have decided to keep my position within the BAU because I love my job, I love helping people, but I do HATE the coffee. Lastly, I have made the hardest decision in my life, so please don't interrupt me while I finish. I don't handle pain well, I don't like it, and the pain you caused me has been completely unbearable and I have thought, pondered, and tortured myself whether or not I could be your best friend, hell even your friend, and to be completely honest to both myself and to you: I cannot and will not forgive you for you lying to me, not trusting me with the secret of Emily's survival, the ultimate slap to the face was that you didn't think I could keep a secret, that her safety would be jeopardized by you whispering me the truth, I mean it is beyond my comprehension that you could watch how heart broken I was for ten weeks in a row and think that I couldn't keep a secret, to protect the person who's false death was driving me to the edge of my sanity. I hope you can find it within you to be a mature adult when it comes to our work relationship and my relationship with Henry, if you allow me to keep it. As to Hotch, ill be cordial with you two when I have to, but as of now when it comes to outside of work interactions I chose to best distance myself."

Spencer finally stopped and let me absorb what had been said. Our friendship is over? He doesn't want anything to do with me? What can I do, what should I do?

"Spence, I don't know what to sa-" I began to say

"Don't call me that." Spencer replied, quickly, and sharply.

"Spence. You lost the right to call me that, now if you'd please leave I have stuff to do."

"Spence, wait, please, just give me a min-"

"I. SAID. STOP. Now, go."

He quickly opened the door and basically pushed me out into the hallway, he closed the door abruptly, and closed me out of his life.

Please be gentle with the critiques if you even stayed this long. It's my frist time, i'm a mere virgin, i'm also an angry person, so Reid is a little OOC here, but whatevs.


End file.
